Im at strip club and am horny
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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