Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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