Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
honey bunches of taint.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
