I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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