Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I look better un-naked...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
