Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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