glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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