at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
