dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ttyl tear gas
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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