Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
