y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
