If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
