Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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