The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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