and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
