Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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