I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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