but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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