Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
