So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
