its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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