I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
