Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
