I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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