Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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