Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
