Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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