So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
even my farts smell like vagina
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
