she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
