well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
