I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
