dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
