I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
