He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
