I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
