I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
