just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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