I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
