Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
