Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish life had little blips of pornography
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
