Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
