nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am one with the molecules
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
