I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
