You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
