On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize