just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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