Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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