Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
