If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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