wakey wakey hands off snakey
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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