Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
