Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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