so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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