considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
