Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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