Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
