I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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