it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
