I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
