She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
