either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
