Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
