My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
