Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize