respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
